Honoring my mother on Mother's Day

I never called my mama "mother" it was always mama. 

She was born in 1925 right before the depression.  She was the oldest of four children.  My grandma Foust died in her mid thirties leaving my mother to look after her 3 siblings.  My pawpaw loved his children but he wasn't always there for them.  She was barely 16 herself and of course was unable to do it all.  Her siblings were sent to a children's home in Thomasville, NC. My mama worked hard and mostly lived with friends and relatives and later she met my daddy. After she and my daddy married they would go to the children's home and get my aunts and uncle and bring them to their house.  My mama lost her first baby.  It was a boy and he was almost full term when mama could no longer feel him move.  They induced her labor and she gave birth to a perfectly formed, stillborn baby boy.  They named him Michael.  A couple of years later my sister Kathy was born and two years after that my sister Sharon came along.  My daddy always wanted a son but it was not meant to be.  Their little family was complete.  My mama worked in upholstery furniture and my daddy was a painter.  They bought and sold several homes in Randolph County and they and my sisters moved around a lot.  In 1964 they built their last home in Sophia.  6 months after that they decided to build on a family room to that house and have it bricked. During that time they received a surprise. My mama, now 40 years old and "going through the change" found out she was expecting. (They didn't publicly say "pregnant" back then).  What a surprise. I remember sitting around and talking and I would ask my mama questions about her pregnancy and my being born and she would tell me stories.  She said at first she was embarrassed.  I guess back then 40 year old women didn't have babies that much.  She said she didn't gain a lot of weight with me and when she went to the hospital to give birth the nurses asked her if she was sure it was time? My sister's stayed home that day and after I was born my daddy went home and told them they had a red headed brother named Roscoe.  I guess secretly my daddy was still hoping for that son.  He also told his friend's the same thing and one of his best friends named Dewey Brown called me Roscoe until the day he died.  

Even though my parents were much older than my friend's parents I was very comfortable with the situation.  I loved them both very much.  My daddy called me "Babe" and one of my favorite things to do was sit on his lap and bump his noggin.  He would lean forward and I would lean forward and we would bump and he would say Bumpy, Bumpy!  My mama was the best cook in the whole world.  She could go to the grocery and spend $20.00 and have enough food to last the whole week and she cooked us the best meals.  Meat, potatoes, veggies, homemade biscuits and dessert.  She didn't use recipes.  She added a little of this and a pinch of that.  She told me that she would sit me on the counter in my carrier while she cooked.  Later as I got older I would hop up on the counter and sit for hours just watching her and asking questions about what she was doing.  That's how I learned to cook and I have a love for it like she did.  Nothing pleased her more than to have you come to her house and eat.  She always had something good and everything tasted better at her house.  She kept the neatest, cleanest house ever!  She had the prettiest flowers.  She loved to plant things and watch them grow.  She always had the greenest house plants.  Sometimes I would take one to my house but it would be dead in a matter of weeks.  

One Monday evening in September 1975 my daddy came home from work sick and later that evening he passed away in our den.  My mama and me were with him.  A massive heart attack took him from us at the age of 55.  Five days before his 56th birthday.  I was 10 years old.  My mama was so sad.  I thought I would die from sorrow.  But we picked up the pieces and our lives resumed.  A week later I went back to school and my mama went back to work and she made a great life for us.  My sisters were already married and had little girls of their own and my sister Kathy was 7 months pregnant with my nephew when my daddy left us.  My daddy loved my little 2 year old neices and I can still see him sitting in his chair with one of them on each knee. There were some really hard days after he died.  Many times my mama told me she was glad that she had me late in life because she would have been completely alone.  

Mama worked every day and saved her money.  I don't know how she did it but we always had everything we needed and more and when I turned 16 she bought me a car.  I had to work and buy my own gas and pay my insurance.  I didn't like it, but little did I know that she was teaching me life lessons that would be valuable to me in the future.  She raised me in a Christian home and taught me right from wrong.  Things I'm so thankful for today.

In 1998 my mama became sick and after many tests was diagnosed with the "C" word.  She had a mass in her colon and she had surgery to have 12 inches of her colon removed, followed by 6 months of chemotherapy.  My sister's and I were devestated, but my mama was a rock.  She never ever complained.  She lost some hair, had terrible sores in her mouth, lost 35 or more pounds, completely lost her appetite but she rallied and after that 6 months she was stronger than ever and she was our mama once again.  We loved her all the more.

5 years later in 2003, in the spring, mama had allergy symptoms.   The Dr. prescribed medication but mama didn't get better.  More tests revealed a problem and she went into the hospital to have a bronchoscopy which revealed a mass in her lung.  A few days later she was admitted to the hospital with a collapsed lung, pnuemonia and once again the diagnosis was the "C" word.  Once again we were devestated.  Mama never returned to her home after the day she was admitted to the hospital.  She spent 31 days in the hospital and then went to my sister Sharon's house to live.  A month later after many, many tests her Dr. decided she was eligible for surgery because the cancer was not found anywhere else in her body.  She had surgery to remove her lung and she seemed to be getting stronger but on August 24th, 2003 she aspirated and later that day was put on the vent and about 3 am on Sunday morning she passed away. Our sweet mama was gone. 

My sister's and I have so many wonderful memories of our mama.  She loved her girls and her grandchildren and loved to have them come and visit.  She never drove a car, never had her license, was a quiet soul with the biggest heart.  She loved her church and her church friends like Miss Self and Betty Johnson and loved to visit with my aunt Clara and aunt Martha.  We miss her like crazy....every day and especially today.  

Today is set aside for honoring mothers and remembering those that have passed on.  I would like to encourage those of you that still have your mama here on earth.  Don't let a day pass without telling them you love them.  Don't let an opportunity pass by that you don't take the time to spend time with them.  Make memories!  They will be so important to you one day. Without those wonderful memories I don't know where I'd be.  I would give anything to be able to spend time with my mama today.  It hurts me so to see people that still have their mama be angry with them and say spiteful things about them and some don't even acknowledge that it's Mother's Day.  You only have one chance, don't let it pass you by.

Happy Mama's Day to each of you!

I look forward to the day when I can embrace my mama and daddy again where there will be no more sorrow, no more tears.  Come Lord Jesus!

Listen, Lord, 

a mother’s praying 

low and quiet: 

listen, please. 

Listen what her tears 

are saying, 

see her heart 

upon its knees; 

lift the load 

from her bowed shoulders 

till she sees 

and understands, 

You, Who hold 

the worlds together, 

hold her problems 

in Your hands. 

-Ruth Bell Graham